Thursday, May 21, 2015

I Am Enough

www.thefitswitch.org/
Project: I AM ENOUGH
#believeiamenough

I struggle with this.
It's nothing new, I've been squashing my inner voice for years, trying to replace it with happy stuff.

This topic produced some very honest and inspiring posts.

As I read through them, I started seeing my own lists of inadequacies grow in my head. Yes, that is a personal problem.

Sometimes a big thing, like injury, can really stir up self doubt and sadness, and cause you to question yourself. I have been working through this for months.

Sometimes small things can create quite the battle.

In the past month or so, I've gained some pounds, and no, it's not the good kind...it is, my pants are getting tighter, and my middle is getting thicker kind.

Pounds you can count on one hand may seem pretty insignificant, but I am 5' 2". It tends to all settle right in my middle. It makes it harder to run, it bothers me, it makes me less excited to wake up, get dressed, go out. I know in a blink it could be more, I have been there and done that. I had to shed a lot weight in my younger life. Even though I haven't moved the scale much the past few years, my weight training and running were helping me shed some inches. I have tried to keep my focus on getting stronger, and I eat pretty healthy a lot of the time, and I do log everything (thank you Loseit app)...but currently, I am losing ground a bit. Do I find it irritating that a few pounds can change how I feel about myself? Yes, I find it crazy even...but, it is honestly how I feel. Even at almost 50 years old, I still battle self esteem issues. I want to be the best me I can be. 

I haven't really changed anything so I am not sure if it's lack of hormones, or lack of running regularly, it's probably a combination of both, but 
I am not giving up. I am not throwing up the white flag...health and fitness is an ongoing journey that has an ebb and flow. I don't have to feel perfect to be happy. I can be content while I continue to try to chip away at it. 

I refuse to become a celery stalk eater. I will not over indulge in exercise. I refuse to get roped into unhealthy behaviors. I have collected the tools and knowledge I need to succeed. Emotions don't have to translate to bad choices.  

My plan is to forge ahead, maintain balance, and believe I am enough.


I will never be perfect, but I am enough, no matter where I may land.

Do you relate to any of this? or am I crazy? I am always okay with hearing honest opinions. 

22 comments:

  1. "health and fitness is an ongoing journey that has an ebb and flow" <---- You said it right here yourself, Karen. When I doubt myself and feel less than, I remember, I can't ALWAYS be in the best shape of my life. It is unattainable because we set the bare higher for ourselves than most people do. But we can have times when we are hitting the mark in what we expect from ourselves, and then we have times where we just have to DEAL WITH LIFE and give our body a rest from the stress we put on it. You're not crazy. I have these feelings too.

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    1. Well said, we can't always be in the the BEST shape, but we never really totally fall off the grid either. I like that, I will remember that :)
      Life so often gets in the way of my fitness. If someone would just clean my house and lay out clothes for me everyday it'd all be great LOL

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  2. Glad you decided to post:) YES- YOU are enough and no one can tell those pounds but you...you are in a much better health and wellness place than many people, so make sure you remind yourself of that. Even if you were 10 pounds thinner, you still would not think you were perfect. It is about finding a happy balance and having the confidence to say that you are doing your best. And you are!!! :)

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    1. Robyn, my real life friend, the only one who actually sees me everyday, you really can't see them? :) You are right, when I have friends tell they have gained, most of the time I can't tell, it's just makes you feel different. I do try to remind myself I work really hard and that is what matters.

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  3. Such an honest post. Thanks for sharing Karen. I agree, injury and time off are always harder for me mentally. It can hurt my confidence, and a bored mind never leads to good things. You have a great plan. It;s important to enjoy life still while you strive for things and not become a celery eater. It's amazing how much my diet can influence my perception of myself. A few days of poor eating and exercising can take a mental toll. Stick with it. You are doing awesome and your strength training always inspires me. :D

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    1. Thank you EB :) You are so right a bored mind, never leads to good things and yes, I like to go off every so often and eat something junky, but it doesn't last. A few days and I don't like it how it makes me feel. I try to stay on track most of the time :)

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  4. You have to chose to love who you are. I can totally relate to this (and questioning the hormones, or lack thereof... :) ). Stick with it, all the work is worth it in the end. I agree, you have to "live life"--it would be no fun to eat celery and exercise 24/7. We are all imperfect works in progress!

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    1. Oh the hormones...I can tell a difference since I've gone through menopause. I guess i expected things to be more leveled out, but it seems that there will be still be fluctuations even after the process from time to time. I usually sleep pretty well and the past few weeks sleeping became almost impossible again. Fun right?! lol

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  5. Karen, I can completely relate, and I was going through a VERY similar thing just a few months ago. Since then, I have just focused on doing what I could with dropping those poofy pounds, in a healthy way. The great thing? I have started a better lifestyle, where I don't go crazy overboard with food splurges on the weekends. I stopped eating sugar, and feel great. And, everything has been gradual, but I am slowly dropping what doesn't make me happy, and doing more of what does. So, I encourage you to keep taking steps forward in the direction your truly, in your heart, want to go. The work WILL be worth it. Just keep it healthy, like you said. And...I do actually love eating celery sticks. LOL. YUM. #fitfamlove Thanks for sharing this! You're awesome. : )

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    1. Ha! I actually love celery too :)
      You are so right, you have to change small things and go gradual. I am trying to look a few things I know I can improve. My battle will be the fake sugar...I love diet soda and I need to tone it down!!
      I am glad you are making progress and feeling good! Thank you for a great link up!!

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  6. You choose a healthy lifestyle. That is the MOST important thing. As long as you do that, you'll be fine. Yes, the weight will fluctuate but that's OK. It's part of the journey. I wish I had a magic solution for the hormonal issues. I believe that is what is negatively affecting my running right now. You are MORE than enough. And, back away from the celery stalks...

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    1. Ha! Nothing personal to celery, but I would not be happy only eating celery salad every day...trying to find that balance :)
      The hormones are a pain! I feel like my have been wonky again. I have been way hot at night and not sleeping. I am not sure if it's my slow thyroid or the hormone changes, but that's what made the heat so hard a few years. I used to be okay in heat, but once i went through menopause that's when I actually started getting sick in heat.

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  7. You just wrote the words that are in my own head.... so know you are not alone.

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  8. I am in the SAME BOAT... 5'2"... a bulge around the middle... and I don't know why. I've really been focusing on my eating. I do think a lot of for me is from my metabolism slowing down due to age.

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    1. My thyroid has slowed considerably as I have aged. I am sure that happens to a lot of us gals. It is hard when you aren't very tall! I am just trying to find ways to add more veggies in :)

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  9. Great post Karen! What you said reminds me of a quote I really like: "don't let perfect be the enemy of good." You are so right that you don't have to feel like a million bucks all the time to be happy. Unless you are a celebrity or millionaire with your own personal chefs and dieticians, you are not going to have a picture-perfect diet. I think a lot of life is learning to take what we're given and do the best we can with it. There's no sense fighting things you can't change.

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    1. That's the truth! I'll just have to go with the flow, it may be as good as it ever gets...or not, could get better. I like that quote, that's a great reminder to have :)

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  10. I think this one was hard for me....I never feel like I'm enough. I need to learn to accept myself for what I am...and I think that is probably a work in progress for all of us.

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    1. It's always a work in progress! You have accomplished some great goals :)

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  11. Such a good post, Karen. I like that you opened up and shared, it's always nice to know that I don't struggle through these same feelings by myself. Last year I had lost quite a bit of weight through marathon training and such, but then with injury and stuff I've gained a bit of weight which I can tell because my pants are tighter. I know once I start increasing my mileage and get back to training hard again it'll go away though. I love what Meg said about not being able to be in the BEST shape all the time. We all go through ebbs and flows - it's part of living a normal life! I mean, I would love to be so rich that I could just focus on nutrition and working out all day, but until I win the lottery I need to just be happy being normal! haha

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    1. Thanks Kristina. I agree, we have to keep the focus on getting stronger and eating healthy most of the time. I like to live, I can't do it all the time. It sure would be nice to have a chef, trainer, and house cleaner LOL dreams...but we are better and healthier :)
      I am sure as you train this summer you will see the benefits from your strength training and mileage increases. I bet you are still toner even if you gained a few pounds! Some parts of me are still better than my pre-running days, but man my middle loves to thicken up.

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