Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Sunshine and Rainbows

Sunshine and Rainbows
Sadly, not in this post. 
I have a little cloud following me today. 

I am still feeling a bit bewildered from my Doctor visit today. I was not prepared to hear how absolute he was.  Basically, I was told I was at the end of the road with running.

After x-rays and tapping some vibrating thing all over my foot, he was shaking his head and asked,

"What other activities do you like?"

I told him I really just wanted to know long I needed to be off of it...I was already cycling a lot right now, I have a race in February, blah, blah, blah...

His next statement:
Take up swimming.

Me: No, thanks, I will just cycle till I can get back to running.

You really need to take up swimming.
Tissue just does not magically repair when you are older.
Your toe ligaments are damaged.
This may never get much better than this.

Wait, what?!

I started with but, but, but, but

and he stopped me every time...

That is nice you have friends who run and are in their 60's, that is not going to be realistic for you.
Your plantar plate is damaged. 
Take up swimming.
Do you enjoy walking, because if you keep trying to run,  you won't even enjoy walking one day.

but, but, but

You would have been lucky if it was a stress fracture. 
This isn't as easy to fix. 

My brain started picturing the little old folks who face a 20 minute journey just trying to cross a parking lot; you know, the poor folks who can barely shuffle to the mailbox. They always hurt my heart, it just pierces me a bit when I see them.  

Are you telling me that is where I am headed?!
Ummm, Doc this isn't going like I planned at all. 

He kept talking about how adapting my activities is "my best course of action"
These bodies are not made to last forever.
Are you sure you don't like swimming? (he must love swimming!)

No Doc.  Swimming is really not my thing...

He said I need orthodics to off set the weight and it will help.
I told him I tried that years ago when my heel spurs were diagnosed, and it didn't work. He said inserts are better now, and they would keep thinning and molding, until they feel good in my shoes.
According to him, orthodics will eventually make me feel like I can run short distances, but if I do it will cause more damage, so stick to walking.
Orthodics are not covered by insurance. They are $300
I am so torn. That is a lot of expense to find out it doesn't work or change the situation for me.

Anyone use these molded delights?

After I left, I had a little moment, I just couldn't get it together. I thought this is ridiculous...he just told me I may never feel a huge improvement from the pain I feel right now.
Is that even possible?
I went and got an Einstein's bagel and cup of coffee. I needed comfort food!  As upset as I was, I didn't cave and have a diet soda. Trust me, I was tempted. 

was so grateful Holly (  thank youchecked on me. I shared my disbelief about my odd experience...I told her felt like I was being given the, you are terminal speech...just so absolute. I know dramatic right! LOL, Seriously. I am not dying, and I'll be okay, but, it was just how it hit me today. 
I don't want you to come here and feel bad, I hate doing these kind of posts! 

I went back to work and started calling all over trying to see another Doctor. 
March was the earliest since I am a "new" patient. That is too long, I tried begging on one call, no luck. SO,  I called my sports medicine clinic to see the same Doc who treated my stress fracture, so I can get a second opinion. I still have to wait weeks to see him. 

So in summary:
I am on a break.
I have plantar plate damage. Doc also used the word, degeneration.
I have dislocated toe ligaments. My bones are all looking fine, but my toes are not on straight.  
The toes being out of line put pressure on the damaged area and hinder healing. 
The doc placed a pad under the arch of the foot area and it seems to help. 

I am trying to decide what to do about the Orthodics.
Please share your experience if you have a set. 

I hate waiting until Feb. 18th to see my Sports Med Doc (so darn long) 

I would much rather be telling you about what I am training for next...

I will be hanging out here Googling remedies and advice.
I have already buddy taped my own toes and they feel delightful. 

Happy Trails, 
Run a mile for me! 


  1. Oh, no, Karen. I was not expecting to hear this Dx about your foot. I am truly sorry. I would try orthotics. Instead of asking 'can I afford to?' I would ask 'can I afford not to?. I would also get a second opinion. That can never hurt. I am sending you my extra positive energy so you can move ahead in the right direction. Take care sweetie.

    1. Thanks Susan. This was not what I expected at all, I can not wait to see my Sports Doc and see what he thinks. Meanwhile I reading medical articles trying to learn more. I did make the appt. to start the casting. Thanks for the positive energy, I need it :) I appreciate it!

  2. Karen, oh no! Big hugs. Feb 18th isn't as long as it sounds & I hope you get better news. Some drs love to tell runners they can't run anymore; I'm praying that that is the case here.

    How about consulting a chiropractor, too? Is that an option?

    Sorry, I can't help on the orthotics as I've never used them.

    Again, big hugs!

    1. Thank you Judy :)
      I thought I would be running by the 18th - it is weird to think I won't, but you are so right, it'll be here before I know it!
      I agree, it seems some Doc's do love to knock running and I hope that was the case...
      I did have a massage recently (a week after my last run) and she thought my tissues were all very swollen. There is a chiropractor at her practice so I will go back and consult with them if I don't see any improvement soon.
      I appreciate the prayers :) That means a lot to me.

  3. Karen, I am so sorry. This is not what I was expecting to hear at all. I am glad you are getting a second opinion. Your first doctor may be right- who knows!? But I have had lots of experiences with doctors and I will tell you different doctors tell you different things. I would never EVER take "no more running" as the final answer without checking what other medical professionals think. Make those appointments, even if you have to wait several weeks. I'm thinking of you girl and sending you love from Pennsylvania. <3

    1. Thank you Megan.I wasn't prepared for all this. I have been so crazy occupied at work I didn't have much time to really think about it all day. You know my Sports guy likes to remind me I am getting "older" all the time, so that is why I sought a different person this time. I didn't think he would be worse lol good grief...
      I am still working on reading up about tissues in the foot. I am not ready to accept my feet can not better. I mean freaking tissues heal to some degree. So many questions, but I am working on it :)

  4. Oh man, while reading this I was going to suggest a second opinion, so glad you did get in with someone else. Maybe someone will cancel and they can get you in sooner. ((HUGS)) I would die if a doc said I couldn't play tennis any more. Yep, 2nd opinion for sure. Good luck!

    1. awwww, thanks Desiree :)
      I know, it is crazy to think what you love doing isn't going to happen anymore. I will get a 2nd for sure and maybe a 3rd and 4th if needed :)

  5. I'm not going to feel bad for you Karen! My thoughts are all positive! I just know you'll get through this. Some docs love to give out that "no running" advice. I think you may need to try the orthotics. Think of it as a couple of pair of running shoes, or a few half marathons -- we wouldn't blink over those, right? What if it's the perfect solution and you didn't try them? The traveling HRM should arrive home today. ;) You can always take your frustrations out in the pool! Don't forget I've got your back, any time!

    1. I am going to try to hang on to that confidence. I have had a few moments where I wondered why is there no change...some times things take longer than we want. I keep hoping that is the case!
      You are right about the orthodics I guess, it is just hard because I have been there, spent the money, and they did not work.
      My son just grabbed the box :) I have not even opened it yet...
      I appreciate you listening all the time :)

  6. Oh nooooo!!!!!!

    I don't believe it.

    I have 6 pins and a plate in my ankle. My ortho said I wouldn't be able to run. And defintely no long distances.

    I hope any doc tells you what you want to hear.

    Even you have to just do 5ks, there are plenty!! I know people who actually walk half marathons too.

    Do not despair!!!

    We are all hear for you to lean on. Whine all you want!!

    1. Thank you Darlene :)
      I feel like all I do is whine! I can't stand it lol
      I know, I told him during the appt. all kind of people I interact with have overcome all kinds of crap...he just wasn't buying it.
      After reading through some info, I do think the diagnosis was right, but I find it hard to believe I can never make any improvements from here. I have considered maybe I need to long distances for awhile, but I should be able run some. We'll see...I keep telling myself I am just two weeks into healing.

  7. I am sorry, but I would echo your instinct to get a second opinion. I WOULD try and get the orthotics, they really can help. Maybe in between now and the second opinion, focus on biking/non-impact activities...Praying for you!

    1. I have to hear this from someone else for sure. Meet me once and give me the dooms day news...doesn't seem right.
      I have been biking :) All inside, it is crazy cold and snow is coming! Thank for the prayers :)

  8. What the heck! This is not what I was expecting the doc to say (minus the orthotics - many of the recommend them). I am happy you're getting a second opinion. I hope that person has SOME way to make a bit of running part of your life, since you love it :)

    1. I expected stress fracture..
      never did I expect all this. I picture running part of my activities eventually, I admit I do wonder if it will be shorter distances, but I am not ready to say I am done.

  9. I want to cry for you. I know if someone told me I couldnt do what I enjoyed - to make myself HEALTHIER (the irony) - I could be devestated too. I'm so sorry. I do believe though the body can heal - no matter the age... & adjustments can help. I'm all for the attitude of NEVER SURRENDER! :) Its just finding the right doctor, I think, to help you in this. You're right - this guy was just all about the swimming, huh?

    My husband almost got those orthodics but never wanted to pay that much either. I've heard great things - but I just wonder if they would help your situation.

    DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT!!!!! Keep doing what you're doing - & I'd make appointments now for other doctors - you can always cancel down the road, but keep those options open. Sometimes it takes a bit for someone to get the love of running & really work with you on getting you back 'on your feet'

    Side note (like this isn't long enough already) I see older people shuffle along & I always lift a prayer that I keep my body healthy enough to never be like that... so I get those images popped in your mind.

    1. Gosh, he was so about swimming lol I thought, I hate bathing suits, just stoppppp!
      I wanted to cry, well, I did cry initially, and had the panic attack about gaining my weight back, feeling sad, but then I thought that is silly. I can heal and I started to feel stronger again...I have thought maybe I will have to accept no long distances for awhile but surely I will get back to those fun 3 and 4 mile runs.
      I appreciate your compassion and prayers, it means a lot to me.

  10. Oh man I'm so sorry to hear this!! :( I do hope the second opinion has better options for you! ((Hugs))

  11. Oh, what bad news! I'm glad you're getting a second opinion because sports doctors are sometimes more understanding. I hope that appointment goes better.

    1. haha, he better more understanding or a storm may happen right there in his office lol I continue to rest and believe that healing has to be happening!

  12. Karen I'm so sorry. I was not expecting that diagnosis. I am 100% against inserts but that's just my personal preference. Keep googling and keep getting follow up opinions. You never know what info will come out of more research. I'll be praying for you.

    1. Thank you Richard. Prayer means the world to me since I don't have my own church family anymore, so really that gives me a lift like you can't imagine :)
      Have you tried inserts? I am bit anti - inserts since I tried before and they never fit comfortably in my shoes.

  13. Karen I'm so sorry. I was not expecting that diagnosis. I am 100% against inserts but that's just my personal preference. Keep googling and keep getting follow up opinions. You never know what info will come out of more research. I'll be praying for you.

  14. Oh I am so sorry to hear about this!
    Can I make a suggestion? Find a doctor who is a runner. Believe it or not, a doctor who is a runner understands and chances are you'll get a completely different diagnosis than from one who isn't.
    I have two ways I find doctors who are runners. The easiest way is visit your popular running specialty store and ask them. The one by me has a list of all the best doctors who are runners and their different specialties.
    The other is ask around, or call to make the appointment and ask if the doctor is a runner. It's common the schedulers are used to crazy questions, but chances are they will probably know the answer or can find out real quick for you!
    I will keep my fingers crossed for you, keep searching for answers and maybe you'll get better news from someone who deals with runners on a constant basis!

    1. Thank you :) You know everyone at my sports clinic was involved in a college sport or semi professional sport, but I am not sure who really has continued passion for running. I will ask!
      You reminded me, when I was on the training team someone suggested a Dr. I will go back though my emails and see if I can get a new lead:)

  15. Ok friend, let's get all the facts first second opinion something before we get all down. Ok I bet everyone of us here has had initial news that was shocking. We have to remember God's got this. I'm praying for answers for you and I can tell you it works you just ask Holly!! :)

    1. Thank you Tricia :)
      I am trying to be patient and believe I will be okay eventually. I am surprised I have not felt a huge improvement yet, I really do appreciate the prayers, it really means a lot to me.

  16. Ok friend, let's get all the facts first second opinion something before we get all down. Ok I bet everyone of us here has had initial news that was shocking. We have to remember God's got this. I'm praying for answers for you and I can tell you it works you just ask Holly!! :)

  17. I too would get a second opinion. However, I do have to answer your question about orthodics. Mine saved my (running) life. I was having knee and hip problems and it got so bad I couldn't run 5K without severe knee pain and had to stop. I had some orthodics made only for running (because that was when things hurt) and am on my "second pair". I sweat by them. I have one leg that is shorter than the other (slightly) and the angle of my knees was putting stress on lots of things. It took a while for my podiatrist to get it right. he would make the pair. I would try them out for a couple weeks, then go back, tell him where things still didn't feel right, and he would tweak slightly. Then I'd try them again, he would adjust if needed, etc. If he hadn't adjusted them, I would not have been pleased. I also did some chiropractor and osteopath sessions to realign my body. But orthodics ? I swear by mine.

    1. Thank you Karen. I am glad they helped you! My experience years ago was not good and basically I couldn't use mine.
      I think I may wait and see at the my next Doc appt. what he thinks. I don't really want to do the orthodics through this office because I so disliked his attitude about my healing. I have discovered a pad in the right place really helps with pressure under my foot and makes that tender spot feel strong...almost like I could run with just the pad, but of course I won't because I am not healed, but even the pad really helps.

  18. My heart is so sad for you and running. I would be heart broke if my doctor ever said that to me. I don't know anything about those kinds of injuries, but maybe cycling will be your new best friend?! I would get another opinion too

    1. It was a bit hard to hear, but after reading about it I hope I can get back to running. Maybe long distances won't work for me, but if I could run some I would be okay. I am anxious to see my sports guy, I sure hope it goes better! Cycling is my new best friend right now, my tush is getting calloused lol


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